The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
