Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think weed is turning my hair brown
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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