I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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