6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
