I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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