woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
