so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
