I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
