sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
