wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
