There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize