There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
