so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize