I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I love you.
Bad choice
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