I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
