Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize