What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
