Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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