I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
