I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
