is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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