My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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