my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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