Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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