I hate all girls vehemently.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize