Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
