So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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