I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
