Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize