just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
