Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
