guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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