Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
