batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
