i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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