Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
