Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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