38 yer olds are good kisserssss
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
