omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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