I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
