Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
