Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
