he puts the penis in happiness.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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