dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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