I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
