So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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