in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
someone owes me an orgasm
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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