Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
