i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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