But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
