just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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