super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
