Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
