I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
