I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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