Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
