her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
