yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
