If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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