whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
