He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
