oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
