Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
