Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
