I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
