I'm drive I can fine osifer
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize