he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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