Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
