Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
