I got chris browned last night
one two three fourrrrnication!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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