The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
