does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
