Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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