My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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