Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
