Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
