Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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