you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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