just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
