He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
