Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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